Osebna transformacija ob kraniosakralni terapiji
Emma Loftus je zapis Amy Skinner pospremila s svojo zgodbo. Pripenjam jo v nadaljevanju, obe objavi sta bili na FBju objavljeni v začetku januarja 2024.
Mene je Emina zgodba navdušila, ker jasno kaže kako močna je lahko podpora kraniosakralne terapije v transformacijskem in razvojnem procesu ene osebe.
Ampak, tu je en ključ: vztrajnost.
Ema jasno pove, da je njen proces trajal leta in da bo trajal do konca življenja.
Ravno to je tisto, kar je moja bolečina v zadnjih letih terapevtskega dela, ko stojim pred osebo, ki pride na kraniosakralno terapijo zase, pripelje otroka ali pa kužka in zavedno ali nezavedno sporoča, da je prišla "na servis" in naj izvedem "popravilo".
Nekateri so nadvse zadovoljni s takojšnjimi rezultati in je zanje to to. Sama v svoji globini vem, da je to bil začetek možne transformacije in osebi zaželim, srečno na poti življenja do naslednjega srečanja.
Drugi, pri katerih željenih rezultatov "popravila" ni, lahko zaključijo, da tehnika pri njih ne dela.
S kraniosakralno terapijo naslavljamo avtokorekcijske procese v telesu in celem sistemu osebe/živali. Torej "popravilo", na način kot si ga zamisli naš um, sploh ne pride v poštev. Včasih so rezultati lahko nekaj kar si mentalno niti nismo želeli. In eden od mojih mentorjev nam je enkrat opisal situacijo zaradi katere je kraniosakralno terapijo nehal delati s športniki, saj lahko pride do notranjega konflikta med bistvom osebe in njenim mentalnim konceptom, vloženim naporom v treninge in pričakovanji trenerjev, družine in športnika samega.
Kraniosakralna reintegracija, Avstralske cvetne esence, Schuesslerjeve soli/minerali in študij travme so me soočili z neizmerno močjo regeneracije, zdravljenja in transformacije telesa, uma in čustvenih procesov ter vzporedno s tem s krepitvijo in rastjo duhovnega aspekta osebe. Potenciali, v nas in našem telesu, so na vseh ravneh prisotni v takšni razsežnosti, da si ne znamo predstavljati kaj vse je (še) mogoče. Ampak, ne od danes na jutri, ne s čarobno palčko, pač z zavestno odločitvijo, celostno, z vztrajnim procesom podpre in v daljšem časovnem obdobju.
In takšna je Emina zgodba, ki naj bo inspiracija nam vsem.
Zgodba Emme Loftus
"The post below this post is by Amy Skinner Horsemanship and it has inspired me to observe and share some of my beginnings with horses … and how my journey into Sobriety…..and later, Biodynamic Craniosacral allowed old patterns, life-statements, and beliefs to begin to lose their volume and fall away.
As Amy so rightly points, out there is always more to observe, to learn and more nuance in how we observe horses, and ourselves.
My journey with horses began when I was 6, actually before then … but my first riding lesson was at 6 years old.
I loved going fast, and I loved jumping, and I just loved riding for hours across the countryside of the Shire.
The framework for my riding lessons and way of being around horses was similar to how my life was framed, from home to school;
“Do as you are told”
“Go to your room”
“Quiet”
“You are so annoying”
In the arena;
“Don’t let him / her get away with it”
“Show them you are the boss”
“Make him / her do it”
And so on …
The world as it was experienced by me at a young age was loud and I felt raw.
Being yelled at was, it seemed, just something that happened. I had no edges, and no boundaries, so it all just went inside and got pushed down.
I would often check out and seem distracted either daydreaming being told to "pay attention"... and I would often joke later in life; that I was waiting for the mothership to come and take me off this planet.
It seemed that it was a mistake that I was here, as I just didn’t feel like I could fit in.
I began drinking at a very young age, which softened the rawness of the world, if only temporarily.
By the time I had moved towards a career into Horse racing a solid relationship with alcohol and drugs was pretty set in.
I was always horse obsessed but what is so clear to me now is that I had no true idea how to connect with them in a way that met them for who they are.
And how could I have? I had zero connection to myself!
I was moving through the world in a survival mode, but that was to me, how I was, I had no other way of knowing how to be.
Unfortunately, it was still many years before that realisation was available to me.
I had so much internal anger, repressed anger from as young as I can remember.
And sometimes the horses under my care would have been subject to that;
Hitting them, when asking them to back up, no softness, just push… dragging them around, yanking on the bit.
At the racing school and beyond, it was a “badge of honour” to be able to hold a pulling horse, to “control” them.
Yet I would see some riders just never have to do that, I would watch them barely move and the horse wouldn’t pull under saddle nor with them on the ground.
How did they do that? How can I do that?
I thought it was something I would never be privy to, or obtain, and I had no idea at the time that it was available to me, an inner-awareness, an inner OK-ness that was buried under a lot of stuff.
The drug and alcohol addiction got worse, and with two failed suicide attempts by the late 1990’s I was left in a sorry state.
I spent a number of years trying to clean up my act on my own, in and out of the 12 step programs like a yoyo, until 2005 when I truly faced a crossroads: Get clean and sober or die.
Why am I telling you all of this?
What causes and conditions, what circumstances, what surrenders, may shift a person from being / behaving / seeing a certain way of the world and of the Horses in it, to another way … ?
The ability to reflect.
And an ongoing journey around acceptance and acknowledgement of self.
That day in August 2005, I was truly with every cell of my being ready to do something different, ready to do anything to stop feeling the way I was, and I finally got clean and sober.
But that really was just the beginning, the journey I am on and will continue to be on, until I transition out of this body is one of unfolding, embracing, gently letting go.
My softening around horses really shifted with sobriety but even more so as I began to receive Craniosacral therapy.
Why would this be?
Because with the sessions I received, I began to gradually come into Me, my body, Emma. For the first time, ever.
And it was a gradual process not a slam dunk – bang, into your body – as that would have been terrifying.
And in doing so, a deeper awareness of my surroundings, and a shift in awareness of the horse I was leading to the stables….
A deeper awareness of horse I was being put on top of to ride to the track, a true appreciation of this incredible being underneath me, beside me, who existed on this planet, a sentient being, just like me.
The move out of racing and into full-time Biodynamic work was inevitable as the two (in my mind and heart) could just not co-exist.
Yet it was through the biodynamic work I had received as a client, and the training I received as a budding practitioner in London, that day by day, slowed me down, let me be more spacious in my everyday life and around horses, and allowed me really see them for who they are.
I would come into the stall of a horse in a racing yard as everyone was hurrying around and just say Hi, acknowledge them, not feel sorry for them – as that would only compound their situation of stuckness, but instead SEE them.
For the horse to be seen like that – what must that feel like for them? Maybe this is what they seek from us …
Being met, having a horse look at you, and SEE you is when I truly felt that I was being seen and acknowledged for the essence that I am, just as they are.
Not my name, not their name, not my history, nor theirs. Just pure awareness, meeting one another.
It can feel so powerful and overwhelming that most of us, may want to cry, and so we should as who has ever been truly met like that?
I recall being on a retreat in the UK in early sobriety with the Brahma Kumaris and we all had to pair up and face one another.
I had someone look directly into my eyes, with just love and acceptance, well I wanted to run out of the room right there and then it felt excruciating!
That was in 2006 ….
Slowly, slowly years later, I could get a sense of what that person saw, and what Horse sees…
And in doing so, I could do the same.
The training I have done, and continue to do, is not just to facilitate self-healing in my horse and human clients, but also an ongoing journey of self-development.
I have had to accept my poor behaviour and anger around horses in my past as I was shut down and managing the only way I could.
Once the journey of walking down a different path began, then each pocket of resistance that came up, and may continue to do so becomes easier to navigate through.
Many of us are over threshold, we are at capacity, and we are often a reflection of our upbringing or our past training, our life-statements that may come up when working with horses.
It can be so SO confronting and overwhelming when faced with something like learning to be soft, when that doesn’t even feel available… to try to figure out why we are so gross and forceful in our movements, abrupt, or fast with our energy.
But when the realisation comes, as to where it began, why the force, why the anger, why the abruptness, why the harsh words to ourselves….
Then the power of transformation begins.
As Amy has beautifully put in this post, the delicate energetic connection, the invitation via a lead rope to have a non-verbal and energetic conversation can be powerful.
Sometimes we may be too quick, too abrupt, we may walk off and forget the subtle moment when our horse needs to see something, hear something, not quite ready….. and that is OK – we can miss all of these little things, then maybe next time, we catch ourselves wanting to stride off leading our horses, so we stop, and we look with our horse, a moment of knowing.. there .. now we walk together .. except there are no words, just movement.
And there it is, that moment of no-mind, just feel, when walking with a horse.. the lead rope may be a silvery energetic thread and the feeling of togetherness, is…well there are no words really, it is powerful.
It has taken me days, weeks, months, years, and the journey on this earth walk is always and forever….
If I am rushing between clients, can I take a moment to pause, and become aware of where I am, in space …
And that each time I approach the horse, and place a halter on, pick up a lead rope…..that it be done as if for the first time, beginning again, yet at the same time with more awareness than before…."
~ Emma Loftus, Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy for Horses and Humans
Boundaries and Centerdness in Leading
"Another specific place where boundaries create a relaxed and happy horse is leading.
When we attach a lead rope to a horse, we are putting parameters on where they can go. The misunderstanding of how to operate their body within the confines of a lead rope can create quite a bit of trouble for many horses, and I would call this problem of poor leading one of the most frequent ones I come across.
A lead rope’s purpose is to direct the horse’s body, feet and mind and everything in between, to a specific location in a specific way. It can tell a horse to go forward, right, left, stop, backwards, speed up, or slow down. If you didn’t know, your lead rope comes with quite a few very dynamic “settings,” if you don’t believe me just check the manual.
The problem for many with leading is the human, as in many instances in life, puts the halter on and begins mentally checking out, essentially dragging a sensitive and feeling animal around like a boulder on a rope. This removes all connection and sensitivity to the lead rope’s meaning to the horse. A lead rope’s meaning to a horse is the human’s responsibility to explain, which means, as I have said many times before and will say many times again- awareness. The human has to be aware of what the lead rope is doing and how it is affecting the horse.
A lead rope is not a dead piece of equipment used for a horse to drag a human around, or a human to drag a horse around. It is, to me, a living thing, used to transmit feeling back and forth between me and the horse, the horse and me. It is how I feel where they are and what they’re feeling. It’s how they feel where I am and what I’m feeling. It’s how one can begin teaching refined and essential concepts like straightness, and bend and half halts.
But for this lead rope to have meaning, it has to be used with intention- for many that is a struggle, myself included quite often. The amount of awareness and refinement possible through the lead rope often staggers me. Every time I think I have some idea of how to be refined with a lead rope, I find I have more to learn. As my teacher (who is an expert in all things feel and lead rope) Brent Graef Horsemanship would say, “how deep do you want to go?” " ~ Amy Skinner, Horsemanship